Hello Claudia,You asked, “Do we pick our parents, sons, and the experiences that we live in this plane to growth spirituality?”
Claudia, if I’ve learned any certain thing from my study of the afterlife, it’s that very few things happen to all people in the same way. What happens before birth, after death, and before rebirth is as varied as what happens to each of the 6.5 billion people on the planet today. If someone asked, “What is life on Earth like,” we couldn’t give a simple answer. There are 6.5 billion answers. Everyone’s life is different.
The same is true of the afterlife. We know that what happens before birth seems to happen very differently for people. Some people seem to choose their birth parents and choose the circumstances of their lives. Others describe it more as simply being given parents and living the lives they fell into by accident. Some describe incarnating with a soul group, while others don’t mention a group.
So as to whether they scripted their lives so they would have tragedies, we just don’t know about them specifically. But we do know that tragedies are not necessarily scripted into a person’s life! And I’ve never heard someone from the afterlife say they chose the time their children should die so they could learn a lesson. That just doesn’t happen.
What those on the next planes of life tell us repeatedly, so we know this is true, is that humankind has created suffering and disease through our ancestors' self-absorption, materialism, greed, anger, malice, and hostility. Life wouldn’t have to be like this. In other words, it appears that most or all of the tragedies are because of what humankind is doing to itself. And they say that will change if humankind matures spiritually. That seems to indicate that the tragedies we experience aren’t scripted before we come to the Earth plane because the tragedies are simply part of living on Earth. We learn lessons as we face challenges and tragedies, but the tragedies aren't necessarily (or aren't ever) planned.
People’s lives and tragedies are not necessarily scripted.
More importantly, much of the pain and suffering is from humankind’s ignorance about the transition called death. It isn’t a permanent separation, but humankind believes it is out of ignorance.
Our loved ones are just a thought away, but we don’t have the conviction that’s true and don’t communicate with them regularly. Our loved ones on the other side are now part of our future, and in the blink of an eye in eternity, we’ll be reunited with them. But sadly, we grieve as though they’re gone forever and we’ll never see them again. No one should fear death. And while we grieve at being separated from our loved ones, the grief should be balanced with the knowledge that they’re still with us and they’re alive and well. If we knew that for a fact, the grief would be much less.
Claudia, concerning the guilt-ridden, grieving parents, I just wish that everyone understood these truths about life, the universe, and the Higher Power.
We are eternal. Nothing can harm the spirit. We have brief periods of being incarnated in some form, such as the bodies we have on the Earth plane. Each such incarnation is an eye blink of time in eternity. During that time, we have joys and trials. But those we love are always with us through eternity; they don’t leave us. They only change form, just as we all changed from a 5 year old into a 50 year old.
Those who cross over are different now, but still with us. They’ve left the Earth school but are happy and growing in graduate school, just separated from us for a short while. They can come to us and we can communicate with them. They’re in our future, and that separation for a few years is for just an instant in eternity. And while they’re off in another country having wonderful lives and adventures, we have others who love us and are around us with whom we continue to live full lives on the Earth plane. We're still learning together with them, and we can be joyous in their love, knowing those who have preceded us into the next life are still joyous in our love and happy.
When someone is guilt-ridden, they’re stuck in a past time. They relive it and relive it, as though somehow that could make what happened different. It can’t. It never will. They now have a new relationship with their loved one who’s on the other side. They need to enjoy that and participate in that with them. They need to see that past time as something that happened and now is done. Nothing on the Earth plane is significant in eternity, and no one feels angry or malice as a result of a tragedy. Those children on the next plane of life are full of love and gratitude. They understand what went on and why. They just wish they could let their parents know that, and we know from everyone who has communicated about such guilt that they're saying, "Please don't feel guilty. I love you."
Those parents need to live and love in the present. That doesn’t leave their loved one behind. It brings them back into their lives to participate with them in life as it is now. Every moment spent in that awful past time is a moment they can’t spend with loved ones still on the Earth plane and with those who are very much alive on the next plane, just not using bodies.
In the end, the agony, guilt, and unrelenting grief are from not knowing. We are eternal. We are never separated from those we love. We will be reunited with them in a short time and go on to new experiences together. We have a new relationship with them we can enjoy if we have the conviction they’re only a thought away. And we have those we love now on the Earth plane with whom we’re learning how to love more fully. We can see others suffering and can learn to feel their grief compassionately. If we live in the past tragic moment, we can’t live in this moment with those we love on this side and the other side of life.
But feeling that and letting that bring peace to their lives requires that they know the simple truths about who we are in eternity. They must know we are eternal beings having a physical experience together. That must come first.
If you let me know the city in which you live, I will give you the names of some psychotherapists who specialize in treating traumatic grief using a therapy method called IADC or another called Guided Afterlife Connection. They can learn their children are alive and well, and they can learn to live in the present, realizing that the past time is just something that happened and is now gone.
They don’t need to stay in this agonizing place. They can move out of it.
Love and peace, Craig
